After two decades in Big Tech, I’ve learned that career success comes down to embarrassingly simple principles that almost nobody follows - including my younger self, who definitely wouldn’t have listened.
These lessons came through trial, error, and observing countless brilliant people. Simple doesn’t mean easy, and knowing doesn’t mean doing. Youth, as they say, is wasted on the young.
Here’s what I would tell my younger self today (if they’d actually listen):
Love the Work (Not the Ladder)
Master the Art of “Why?”
Build Real Relationships (With Strategic Kindness)
Bring Joy to Work (Yes, Really)
Communicate Like Your Career Depends on It (It Does)
Systematically Document Your Impact
Turn Feedback Into Fuel
Your Boss Matters More Than You Think
Fair Warning: Every career advice post suffers from survivorship bias, and this one’s no exception. I can’t tell you about all the times these principles didn’t work - because I wasn’t there to see them fail. I can only connect the dots looking backward, and hindsight has a way of making random walks look like deliberate strategy. These are the principles I think mattered, but I could be completely wrong about why things worked out. Your mileage will vary. Caveat emptor.
1. Love the Work (Not the Ladder)
Your first job is a lab, not a ladder.
While promotion-obsessed colleagues waste energy managing up and claiming credit, problem-solvers become irreplaceable. They know why systems fail at 3 AM. They prevent disasters nobody else sees coming. When promotion decisions arrive, the choice becomes obvious.
I was genuinely obsessed with computer science when I started - the actual problems, not the prestige. That obsession taught me more than any career strategy could. The promotions? Side effects of doing work that mattered.
Here’s your test: Find something fascinating in today’s tasks. Not tomorrow’s dream job. Today’s actual work. If you can’t, you’re already falling behind. People who love their current work learn faster, spot patterns others miss, and build reputations that outlast any single job.
2. Master the Art of “Why?”
Most people execute. The exceptional ones understand.
My first role in Search Quality forced me to dig beneath solutions to root causes. Every successful project should have a “big idea” of why it worked. This investigative mindset - refusing to accept “that’s how it’s done” - separates those who fix problems from those who work around them.
PhD training helped, though you don’t need a doctorate to develop this mindset. You need the three-year-old’s superpower: keep asking “why” until you hit bedrock. When projects succeed unexpectedly, investigate. When they fail despite perfect execution, understand. When everyone accepts the status quo, that’s your cue to dig.
Develop timeboxed curiosity - permission to explore within boundaries. Build mental models of how things actually work versus how they claim to work. This thinking style never becomes obsolete; it only grows more valuable.
3. Build Real Relationships (With Strategic Kindness)
Forget networking. Make friends.
Real relationships start with being useful without being needy. Share the article they need. Offer help with what you’re genuinely good at. Connect people because it’s interesting, not strategic.
But pair kindness with boundaries:
Surround yourself with ethical people. Your environment shapes your experience and your opportunities for growth. Choose teams and companies that share your values.
Master self-promotion. Kind people often struggle to highlight their achievements, but visibility is crucial for career advancement. Document your wins. Share your successes. Don’t let modesty hold you back.
Set firm boundaries. When someone tries to take advantage of your kindness, address it directly. Kindness without boundaries isn’t sustainable - it’s exploitation.
Practice selective forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes, including you. Second chances can transform relationships - when given thoughtfully to people who’ve shown they can change.
The best professional relationships have zero initial agenda. They exist because you’re helpful, interesting, or both. These are the people who’ll recommend you in ten years for the job that changes everything.
4. Bring Joy to Work (Yes, Really)
I bring my own kettle to work and hold impromptu tea times at the microkitchen. I can’t resist sharing terrible jokes in meetings: “Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the pizza? He ate it before it was cool.” I maintain a “Dadabase” of groan-worthy puns. I’ve been known to stack bottles at my desk into precarious towers.
When I joined Google, being not-serious was practically encouraged. I never developed the reflex to abandon laughter for the sake of appearing mature. Turns out, this “unprofessional” approach has strategic merit.
Those pre-meeting jokes? They shift brains into creative problem-solving mode - dopamine and oxytocin actually enhance innovation. The spontaneous tea times? They build trust through tiny, consistent connections. What started as natural behavior became a “strategic workplace culture activity”.
My philosophy: create fun, don’t force funny. When your workplace becomes somewhere people want to be, laughter follows naturally. Practice “Yes, and...” thinking. Accept reality (yes, this deadline is brutal) AND find opportunity (this could simplify our architecture) AND maintain levity (”More material for my memoir!”).
The teams shipping the best products are often the ones enjoying the build process most.
5. Communicate Like Your Career Depends on It (It Does)
Clear communication is such an undervalued skill and two skills compound over time: listening and explaining.
First, actually listen. Not the kind where you’re formulating responses while others talk. Early in my career, when teammates raised concerns, I jumped to solutions. By truly listening first, we started solving root causes, not symptoms.
Your listening evolves with scope:
Tech lead: Technical details and team dynamics
Manager: Career aspirations and unspoken concerns
Director: Patterns across teams, systemic misalignments
Second, explain with precision. Meet people where they are without dumbing things down. Start with why, then what, then how. Your challenge changes as you grow:
Early career: Translate technical concepts into insights
Mid-level: Clarify expectations and organizational context
Senior level: Adapt strategy for diverse audiences without losing essence
Remember: In our world, you have seconds to make your point. Every unnecessary detail dilutes your message. Lead with impact, provide context before complexity, and layer your message from high-level to technical depth.
Strategic silence matters too. Skip the sarcastic message. Save the brilliant but off-topic point. When something truly matters, you want people ready to listen, not tired of your voice.
6. Systematically Document Your Impact
Nobody cares about your growth more than you do. Document it.
Keep a running file of your achievements, metrics, and praise. Update it weekly. You’ll forget half your accomplishments by review time. Your boss will forget more. This isn’t ego. It’s evidence.
Keep a “brag document” - Julia Evans popularized this concept, and it’s career-changing. Every Friday, spend ten minutes recording:
What you shipped: “Reduced deployment time by 50%” beats “worked on deployment”
Problems you solved: Especially the unglamorous ones nobody wanted
People you helped: Their success is your success
Skills you’re building: Track your learning trajectory
Recognition received: Exact quotes from reviews, emails, Slack
The real magic happens when performance review time comes. Instead of frantically trying to remember what you did six months ago, you have a comprehensive record. Research from The Pragmatic Engineer shows that the most productive engineers consistently keep work logs - not for their managers, but for themselves. It helps them see patterns, recognize their growth, and yes, negotiate better.
Update it when the work is fresh. Friday afternoons work well. Ten minutes, once a week. By year’s end, you’ll have 52 entries that tell the real story of your contribution. Not the story you remember. Not the story your manager assumes. The actual story, with receipts.
7. Turn Feedback Into Fuel
I was terrible at this. I waited for annual reviews, then felt awkward about the feedback I received, treating it like criticism instead of data. Big mistake.
But don’t ask “How am I doing?” or “Any feedback?”. It’s not specific and actionable.
Instead use this formula by Jack Canfield: “On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate [specific thing]?” When they say anything below 10: “What would make it a 10?”
But here’s the crucial part: Act immediately. Process feedback, implement it, then circle back. “You said my deck needed more structure. Here’s version two with clear sections. Better?”
The harsh truth you hear today prevents the career disaster tomorrow. That uncomfortable conversation about your communication style saves you from bombing the critical presentation later.
Seek feedback like insider information. You’re not waiting for judgment - you’re requesting intelligence.
8. Your Boss Matters More Than You Think
It took me a long time to realize this - the person you report to shapes your trajectory more than any job title could. When possible, choose your boss before your title.
The right boss teaches what you can’t Google: How to navigate politics without becoming political. Which battles are worth fighting. How to push back without burning bridges. These invisible skills determine whether you’ll be running meetings or just attending them in five years.
Look for bosses who’ve done what you want to do, not just managed people who do it. There’s a difference between someone who critiques your slides and someone who teaches you how to think.
Bad bosses teach you too - what not to do, how not to lead, why culture matters. But that’s expensive education. You’re trading years to learn how dysfunction works.
Ask yourself: Who will I become after two years working for this person?
When Principles Collide (Because Life Is Complicated)
These principles sound neat in isolation. Reality is messier.
What happens when the perfect boss offers you the wrong work? When being kind conflicts with being visible? When loving the work means accepting a toxic team? When strategic silence means watching bad decisions unfold?
Sometimes you optimize for learning (take the boss), sometimes for impact (take the work), sometimes for sanity (take neither and find a new job). The answer depends on:
Where you are in your career (early = optimize for learning)
What you’re missing most (skills or opportunities)
Your personal circumstances (can you afford short-term pain?)
The timeframe (six months of bad work for two years of mentorship might be worth it)
The framework I use: What will matter in five years? The project I worked on three jobs ago? Forgotten. The skills that the boss or the team taught me? I use them daily.
Life is trade-offs and timing. These principles aren’t rules - they’re tools. Use them when they serve you. Adjust when they don’t. The only real failure is not thinking through the decision at all.
These principles seem obvious written down. But look around your office. How many people actually follow them?
Most chase titles over mastery. Dodge feedback. Dominate conversations. Treat relationships like transactions. Take themselves too seriously. Work for whoever pays most.
Meanwhile, you’ll be the one who solved the impossible problem because you understood why it was breaking. Who got promoted because three directors remembered how you helped their teams. Who navigated the reorg successfully because your boss taught you to read the organizational winds.
Twenty years from now, you won’t remember the titles or the levels. You’ll remember the problems you solved, the people you worked with, and whether you enjoyed the journey.
Start now. The compound effect is real, and time is the only ingredient you can’t add later.
I enjoyed my path, mistakes and all. May yours be just as educational - and hopefully a bit more efficient.
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing!