“Get to the office before everyone else arrives. You optimize yourself into solitude and call it focus.” I recognized myself so hard I threw my head into my hands. This is my past ten years. Will it be my next?
That's the question, isn't it. Recognizing it is the whole first move; almost no one gets that far. Whether it becomes the next ten is the part you get to decide now.
I started to realize about things like that about this year. Everything changed when I changed my job, which I already felt it was overwhelming by its whole process and how I was facing it, to another one with steadier and longer processes. I felt like those Junior developers eager to do everything fast and show how much I could contribute. 3 months later my probation period ended with positive results but the project wasn't there anymore for me to keep my job. I lost hope, I was in despair and the bills never stopped coming. Luckily I have one of the greatest partners I've ever met in my life and she held it all together, enough for me to find another job and keep going.
In my new job I found great people and despite the rhythm still seemed to be somewhat fast I had a good backup and a sense of stability. After I settled better everything that happened seemed to come back hitting myself in my head and my face. And then all those things you said started to pop up and make sense. Seemed like I was another person entirely. I could not miss a single second of what I was doing because there was so much to do. Everything made me angry and I was irritated all the time.
Now I'm about to be a father and I don't want to pass that to my child at all. I don't need to be the next big thing or become soooo wealthy or productive. I just need to be there. Present and conscious.
Thank you YJ. I left after my hedgefund effectively collapsed. I went and travelled the world and just sat and had my coffee in peace, spoke to random people. The urges of being productive are still there
This is a great post, and is very complementary with Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks which I am currently re-reading. Lots of nuggets/reminders from you here. "Stay in the discomfort", wow, yeah that really spoke to me. It's so easy now to just "jump ship" from that feeling. To get away from it with some type of comfort: phone, AI, etc. But, as you said, and it's true, there is a signal there you need to pay attention to and work towards something real.
“Get to the office before everyone else arrives. You optimize yourself into solitude and call it focus.” I recognized myself so hard I threw my head into my hands. This is my past ten years. Will it be my next?
That's the question, isn't it. Recognizing it is the whole first move; almost no one gets that far. Whether it becomes the next ten is the part you get to decide now.
I started to realize about things like that about this year. Everything changed when I changed my job, which I already felt it was overwhelming by its whole process and how I was facing it, to another one with steadier and longer processes. I felt like those Junior developers eager to do everything fast and show how much I could contribute. 3 months later my probation period ended with positive results but the project wasn't there anymore for me to keep my job. I lost hope, I was in despair and the bills never stopped coming. Luckily I have one of the greatest partners I've ever met in my life and she held it all together, enough for me to find another job and keep going.
In my new job I found great people and despite the rhythm still seemed to be somewhat fast I had a good backup and a sense of stability. After I settled better everything that happened seemed to come back hitting myself in my head and my face. And then all those things you said started to pop up and make sense. Seemed like I was another person entirely. I could not miss a single second of what I was doing because there was so much to do. Everything made me angry and I was irritated all the time.
Now I'm about to be a father and I don't want to pass that to my child at all. I don't need to be the next big thing or become soooo wealthy or productive. I just need to be there. Present and conscious.
Thank you YJ. I left after my hedgefund effectively collapsed. I went and travelled the world and just sat and had my coffee in peace, spoke to random people. The urges of being productive are still there
Very powerful and thought provoking.
The system can be working perfectly and still be quietly costing us the parts of life that matter most.
That is why relying on one pillar for income, identity, structure, and permission becomes so fragile, although it takes too long for most to realize.
One pillar should not be enough. From what it gives you, you can create optionality and move toward a life you actually want to inhabit.
This is a great post, and is very complementary with Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks which I am currently re-reading. Lots of nuggets/reminders from you here. "Stay in the discomfort", wow, yeah that really spoke to me. It's so easy now to just "jump ship" from that feeling. To get away from it with some type of comfort: phone, AI, etc. But, as you said, and it's true, there is a signal there you need to pay attention to and work towards something real.